My Top 5 Reasons For Losing Weight (And Yours Too)

My Top 5 Reasons For Losing Weight (And Yours Too)

This is not going to be one of those generic “why I want to lose weight” lists. Don’t get me wrong,  improving my health and having more energy are excellent reasons for completing a weight loss journey. HOWEVER, there are other, shall we say, less politically correct reasons I want to finish this phase of my journey.  Reasons that many of my brothers and sisters on the journey may share but would never articulate. That’s okay because I’m here to to do if for you! :-)

Here We Go…

 

5. LESS SWEAT

I’M SO TIRED OF THE EXCESSIVE SWEATING! I know that carrying excess burger grease around my midsection (and other places) means it takes maximum effort to move from point A to point B. I get it!  However, it’s INCREDIBLY annoying to start soaking through my t-shirt the second I try to put two thoughts together. Seriously, there’s is nothing more frustrating than walking somewhere and arriving at my destination with a soaked shirt, sweat dripping from my brow, in the WINTER, while some skinny dude that ran two blocks to the same destination arrives crisp and dry (that really happened!).

4. The End Of “THAT LOOK”

For my brothers and sisters on the journey, how many times have you decided to go to a buffet (or wherever your desire for “bad” food takes you), and upon walking in the door of the establishment, out of the corner of your eye you spot people giving you THAT LOOK? That LOOK that says “How dare they come here to eat [insert bad food here]!”  ”They KNOW they don’t need to be eating [insert bad food here]!” Meanwhile, the people giving you THAT LOOK are gleefully indulging in whatever decadent food is in front of them.  Apparently, only the non-overweight are allowed to enjoy bad food while the rest of us are sentenced to a  life of salad and crackers. The day the weight loss phase of my journey is over, I’m going to the most expensive buffet I can find in NYC with a shirt that says “If You’re Seeing This, You’re Being Robbed” just to see who gets nervous.

3. No More “Fat What The F**K Moments”

Let me define what a Fat What The F**k Moment is. It’s a moment in time when those of us who are on the journey are minding our own business, doing whatever it is we do, when some random person is COMPELLED to come up to you (unsoliticited I might add) to say or do something just to remind you of how fat you really are.  Case in point, I was at a bar with a group of friends recently. There I was enjoying myself and minding my own business when I noticed this waiter approaching our table with a HUGE tray of food. Keep in mind that in order to get to us, he had to pass about 3 or 4 OTHER tables with groups of people larger than ours.

He bypasses my friends (naturally) and comes right to me to ask “did you order this?”  In his mind, the other tables he passed to get to ours, all of which had twice to 3 times as many people, couldn’t have POSSIBLY ordered all of that food! It HAD to be the table with the FAT GUY and 5 other people!  He was absolutely stunned when I told him no. He even asked me if I was sure. Twice.  It turned out to be an order for the first table he passed. The one with about 20 – 25 people.  I have so many more FWTFM’s that I can share, but I long for the day when I no longer have to experience them.

2. No More Unsolicited Weight Loss Advice

It seems that once anyone finds out you’re on a weight loss journey (or thinks you need to be on one), they instantly become doctors, nutritionists, and fitness experts. I mean after a whole season of watching Dr.Oz, they really think they know everything there is to know about anything there is to know about weight loss. Not only that, but you are just waiting with baited breath to hear what they have to say! (Not). I had one guy run up to me while I was walking to the store a few months ago to tell me that all I needed to do to lose weight was drink water with oatmeal in it (true story).  The sooner I’m done, the sooner this reoccurring scenario will come to an end.

1. BETTER SEX

Yep, I went there. Come on now don’t look at me like that! I know that my brothers and sisters on the journey have  been thinking THE SAME THING. I’m talking about doing the nasty,  the two backed beast, getting your groove on, making love, or whatever colorful metaphor you like. For my tastes, I’m tired of having to calculate  mass and gravity ratios, attempting to solve pi to the last digit, and taking into account if Venus is in a retrograde orbit in the House of Pancakes to do some of the things I like.  There are so many things I want to do that I can’t do right now.  But, I can’t wait to see what kind of work I can put in when this phase of my journey ends. I’ll keep you posted :-)

Now you know my top 5 reasons…what’s yours?

-Jamal

16 comments

  1. Man, I totally feel you on point 5. “Fat people sweat more” is one of the most common things that come out of my mouth when people say crap to me about being drenched in my own sweat. I had a wtf fat moment when a girl I was “dating” told me her friends called her a chubby chaser..wow what a way to make me not want to have sex with her any more.
    Point 1, better sex. I attest to the fact that I don’t have and haven’t had a real girlfriend in years because I’m fat and unattractive to the ladies I would like to be dating. I hate to be superficial but in certain aspects I am and this is one of them. I was 39 and dating a 22 year old college student and during sex I would have to stop to “catch my breath” or “work out a cramp”.. seriously? If I was in shape and not a fat body those two things would never come up during sex.
    Keep up the good work and stay with the fight against “the fat that shall not remain.”

    • Hey Mike! The sweat thing is soooooooooooooooooo annoying man. Its why I refuse to work out outside when it gets cold. At this point I’ll be soaking wet and its cold..a very bad combo. I’m sorry about your “Fat What The F**K Moment” man but unfortunately you have to be gracious and calm when you find yourself in one lol. As far as you being superficial you’re just being real. We live in a shallow and superficial society in the USA. That’s just facts.

  2. JAMAL!?!

    I think you should keep going…there must be more than five! Excellent! I have one for you… Walking into a restaurant with my SO, next to me mind you, the hostess will ask , “how many?” I’ll say two, then they turn to my partner, and asked the same damn question…. REALLY??! Really!

    Bring some more…I love it!

    Laina
    Aka @bluigirlusa

    • Hey bluigirlusa! Thank you so much for your support. I really really really appreciate it! I do have a few more but they’re not as “sexy” :-D I’m glad you like it! You’re the best.

  3. Love this post!! You have one of my favorite blogs Jamal, keep it up!! :-D

  4. I LOVE this post. Your right is both incredibly entertaining (guaranteed for a smile) and in your face, you need to take action truthful. Keep it up!

  5. Jamal – You are cracking me up! Here are my 5:

    1) I am looking forward to not having to map all possible routes in a resturant. At almost 400 lbs, I had to map all possible routes between the front door and my table as well as between the table and the bathroom. Why multiple routes you may ask? Ultimatley someone blocks one or more of the routes and when you gotta go, you gotta go.

    2) I am looking forward to not having to calculate the weight capacity of everything I want to sit or lean on. When you break your first or second chair, you blame the chair. After a couple dozen chairs, you begin to realize that the only common denominator in the equation is your 400 pounds of fun.

    3) Getting off Drugs. I don’t care if they are perscription or not, Mister Mackey is right…”drugs are bad Mkay”. They are a clear indication that something is wrong and I will gladly take them if I need to but I am looking forward to the day that I do not need them.

    4) More money! Now don’t get me wrong, eating healthy is not cheap but neither was 6000+ calories a day. Breakfast used to cost me almost $10, now it cost me $3. Not to mention the savings on all the drugs I don’t take any more.

    5) I am with you on the last one. There ain’t nothing wrong with a little bump and grind. At 400 lbs, there were always calculations and logistic problems to work out how we were gonna proceed. And then there is the fear of slipping and falling and crushing my partner. Having lost almost 100 pounds, I can tell you that my sex life is MUCH better. My cardio endurance is amazing so I do not gasp for air and feel like I am gonna die half way thru, my flexibility is better so I do not get cramps or pains and of cousre there is less of ME between me and my partner…enough said.

    Keep up the Great work!

    Tim

    • Hey Tim!

      Sorry about not responding sooner! I really thought I did! I *LOVE* your 5 reasons! Wow! I so feel you on #1 and #2. Having already sent several weak chairs to their maker I’m always cognizant of the weight capacity of chairs. Its why I get very nervous on a folded metal chair as well as beds. Its sooooooooooooooo annoying and I would love to be done with it!

      I really thought I was the only one who does the mental mapping! LOL. I always have to look for the “Big Man compliant” routes to get to the bathroom in a restaurant. I can rarely sit in the middle of a row and always have to navigate my way to the end rows so I can stretch my legs (being big and 6’3 isn’t fun) . It’s so frustrating.

      But, I have no doubt that one day we’ll look back on these things and marvel about how far we’ve come! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and responding, I really appreciate it!

  6. Great post! While I think we all want to lose weight for health reasons, there are so many other reasons to lose weight. I guess mine would be…

    1. To feel confident in a group of people. I’ve always considered myself an introvert when in reality I am not. I just hold back because of my weight. I don’t want to the focus of attention because I feel people will be paying attention to my weight rather than what I am saying.

    2. To not worry about my seat. It doesn’t happen as much but whenever I met friends and family at a bar/restaurant, I liked to get there first to scope out the table to get the best seat. Now the best seat IMO was one where I didn’t feel trapped or had to ask people to move if I needed to get up. Again, i didn’t want to attract attention. I also needed to make sure I would fit comfortably in a booth so most of the time I asked for a table.

    3. To let my freak flag fly. I love to dance but again I let my weight hold me back because i don’t want to be that girl that everyone is staring at. I want to be comfortable enough with myself to shake what my mamma gave me.

    4. To be able to go into any store and buy anything I want. I am looking forward to the day when shopping for clothes isn’t such an emotional chore. Also can’t wait to rock some Victoria’s Secret & get my groove on.

    5. Get back in the water. I love to swim but haven’t done that in so long. I used to be really good at it but gaining weight meant I was lazy and even the thought of trying on a bathing suit gives me hives. But one day i will be back in that pool.

    • Hey Marisol!

      Those are awesome reasons thank you for your posts. It looks like you, me, and another poster all have the concern about mapping routes to our seats and picking the best seat :-) I am so with you on how you feel. This is why I have to plan when I go to church or go out to the movies or whatever to make sure I’m not forced to be in the middle of a row. I look forward to the day when I can spend my brain cycles on other things!

      If we continue along this path one day this will all seem funny in retrospect. I look forward to you letting that freak flag fly :-) Not to mention for you to get back doing what you love. Keep me updated on your progress on your journey and share your victories with me :-)

      Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond!

  7. I can relate to everything you have mentioned. Sweating is really annoying! I was at the supermarket that my body decided to lose all that steam. I was sweating profusely that I seemed like I went for a jog. I have heard the most ridiculous unsolicited comments about my weight. For some reason, here in the Philippines, saying your thoughts out loud is alright. Someone just told me I am the biggest person he’s ever seen. You see, people here are small and I am the most noticeable person around. Even a caucasian man has told others, “look, he’s bigger than me. There are at filipinos too.” Regarding an unsolicited advice, I was told not to eat anymore! Ridiculous!

    I am sure I have so many reasons to lose weight but what really bothers me, the reminds me how fat I am, is when I get on an airline to travel. The nature of what I do requires me to travel. That means enduring so many hours seating on that tiny seat. I got lucky to be bumped one time to first class…. that too was awful!

    • Hey Darren!

      First thank you so so much for reading my post and I apologize for being an idiot and not responding! I can so sympathize with you on your experiences. I know its bad enough here in the states but I’m sure its equally frustrating and demoralizing overseas. I’m 100% with you man on airplane travel. Its terrible having to squeeze myself in a tiny seat for hours at a time. The worse part is asking for that seatbelt extension. I dont know if you need..but I sure as heck do..its the absolute worse!

      Just hang in there..and keep your eyes on the prize. We’re going to do this!

  8. Hey Jamal, I enjoy watching you on your journey to becoming more fit, and I too am trying to become a different person by shredding the extra fat on my body.
    I would like to know some of your tips and tricks to losing weight. Right now I am 19, and I weight 386 lbs. I purchased a two year gym membership and for the past month I have been going every other day for about an hour. 25 on the elliptical, and the rest spent on weight training. My problem is I do not know what foods to eat that are simple and could open my fridge and eat. I would also like to know what kind of workout plan you have, what exercises are helping you lose weight?

    My 5 reasons to lose weight are as follows:

    1. Be able to go to a social gathering and not have to blame my failure with girls on my weight. I would also like to relate to number 1 on your list, sex is difficult when you’re big.

    2. I want to be able to go to a sporting event such as baseball and be comfortable in my seat. I went to a game a few months back and I was too big to be slightly comfortable in my chair. Not only that but the trip to get to the seat was terrible too.

    3. I hate being judged by people by the way they look at you, and the way they talk to you. That is one of my main motivators to lose weight, to prove to them I’m not a tub-o-lard deep down.

    4. I actually enjoy when people give me advice on how to lose weight, even though after several people give you advice some work against others which makes things confusing. I don’t like when people bigger than you give you advice, like cmon, obviously it’s not working. But obviously things are working great for you that’s why I am asking for your secrets (:

    5. Seating at restaurants. When we sit in a booth, the table is right up against my belly so it’s difficult to eat, and if I’m on a date, embarrassing. I would like to be able to slide in and out of booths no problem and not have to worry how I am going to eat my meal without having the plate on the edge of the table.

    Anyway, I still cannot find a scale that can weigh me, which is very discouraging since I am so fat I can’t weight myself, and I can’t check my progress. I would like to know where you purchased yours if possible.

    Thanks man, have a good one !

    • LOL at #4 AINT THAT THE TRUTH!??!?!?!??! There’s nothing worse than someone who needs to lose weight telling you what you need to be doing. UGH.

      #3 is very close to the top of my “What I hate about non-fat people list”. That look of disdain they give you burns me up inside.

      #5 ME TOO! I don’t even bother sitting at booths anymore man. I just go for the table for the same reason you cite.

      However..if we stay on the path..then that will no longer be an issue..I soooooooooooooo look forward to that day! :-)

      Thank you for taking the time to not only read..but respond! I really appreciate it!

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